CHANGE OF DIRECTION The Screaming Agony Ensemble issued an abrupt revision to their immersive theatrical experience, Slap You in the Mouth, after a flurry of assault charges and pending lawsuits were leveled against cast members. The show is now called You Slap Us in the Mouth and is slated to run until Thursday.
WARM-UP ACT Carbon-neutral artist Ed Grundy planted his 500th tree, thereby offsetting the greenhouse gas footprint of his most recent show in 2011. He also announced his next exhibition, a series of sustainable-charcoal sketches on biodegradable tissue, at Art Basel Miami this December. He begins walking there next week.
BLIND ITEM #1 A bigshot Seattle fashion blogger committed a couture faux pas when the background of an Instagram wardrobe selfie revealed a closet full of Ugg boots and animal-print harem pants. This embarrassing social-media misstep was widely reposted and received over a thousand “likes,” which we can only assume were backhanded.
VIBING OUT Things have heated up lately in the competitive underground ambient synth battle scene. At last week’s “mood-off” in an undisclosed abandoned warehouse in SoDo, reigning champ WALLPAYPA (caps defiantly his) vanquished challenger Lil’ Eno with a long, slow cluster of atonal thrums that echoed through the crumbling industrial space. Lil’ Eno’s contemplative, wandering harmonies were no match for WALLPAYPA’s sparse, dissonant warbles and the crowd quietly determined the victor with blissed-out nods and languid shrugs. Regardless of the winner, it’s a joy to see these young people settling their neighborhood beefs with samplers and synths, not guns and fists.
NEAR-MISSUS Shade was thrown and bottles were broken after a horde of amateur standup comics overran Charlemagne’s, a popular drag queen hangout, for a Tuesday night comedy open mic. Shortly after the show was underway, one witness overheard glamour diva Lotta Boxx exclaim loudly to her table, “If that fat bearded bitch says ‘tranny’ one more time I’ma cut his face.” Sure enough, the unfortunate epithet was repeated again from the stage and a room-clearing melee ensued, with several comedians requiring first aid. No queens were injured in the brawl. The open mic is cancelled.
BLIND ITEM #2 A prominent Skykomish chainsaw sculptor was seen canoodling with a certain buxom, bass-playing hairstylist at the Taco Time in Monroe. Both wore matching bandages over fresh tattoos. Is this finally true love?