An Apology from the Promoter of TacoFest

Dear ticketholders and community members,

I should start by saying I’m not able to refund your tickets to TacoFest 2017 at this time. It kills me to admit it, but I got in way over my head and trusted the wrong people. I made mistakes and I’ll own up to them. I especially want to offer my deepest apologies to the victims and their families.

I have no previous experience producing food festivals; I’m just a guy who wanted to share his passion for tacos with his community. If that’s a crime, go ahead and lock me up. (Please don’t, haha!)

One major thing I learned from this ordeal is that it’s too easy to set up a Facebook event after a few Michelobs on a Thursday night. Once you see those RSVPs pouring in it’s just a hop, skip and a jump to drunkenly setting up a ticket link and breezing through the city’s far-too-convenient online event-permitting process.

Hungover the next day, I realized the pickle I’d gotten myself into. Tacos sell themselves; the whole thing snowballed. On the other hand, if it panned out I could be sitting on a goldmine! I agreed to take on a partner, VistaGroup Logistics, which I did NOT realize at the time was a private prison contractor. They assured me they would handle the taco end of things, freeing me up to focus on entertainment.

In retrospect, horrorcore rap was probably not the best choice of music for a family-friendly event, but I wanted to support my nephew Brandon and his band, Thrice Fisted, who recently put out their debut EP on SoundCloud. Perhaps it was for the best that the rental PA never arrived and the guys were forced to perform a cappella over the roar of the generators. Honestly, you had to listen very closely to be offended.

We ran out of tacos right as the last ticketholders entered the enclosure, a secure barbed-wire perimeter set up by VistaGroup. That’s when a swarm of wasps emerged from the woods, enveloping the crowd within seconds. As hundreds of famished taco lovers flailed in agony, VistaGroup abruptly shuttered their trucks and pulled out, leaving me alone to face the crowd. 

These bruises and welts will fade—the important thing is that no one was permanently disfigured (that I know of). I’ve created a Kickstarter page to help make things right, and whatever you can pitch in would be greatly appreciated. I truly believe we can come together in our shared love of tacos and put this whole fiasco behind us. I’m already looking forward to next year!

Yours in tacos,