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1. I had probably the most undramatic New Year's ever - asleep by 11:30.
2. Even though it was released over five years ago, Mr. Plinkett's profane, surprisingly in-depth review of Star Wars Episode III has really helped me...
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E-readers have evolved since this model. My stock photography has not.
1. I now have a Nook and have suddenly developed strong opinions related to e-readers.
2. It occurred to me, that if you help Santa save Christmas one year, the following...
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1. Woody Allen continues to surprise me as to how much he has influenced modern comedy. I'm looking at you cut-away style-cartoons, among others.
2. I am definitely the type of person who listens to a song repeatedly and quickly...
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1. You need at least two full cups of gravy per person to keep a Thanksgiving party going. Terrifying, but true.
2. Seattle Mystery Bookshop is not hard to find - and full of really friendly people. Check it out some time.
3. People spend...
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1. Drinking frozen, canned orange juice feels a little less white trash when you serve it from a bowl with a ladle.
2. Sissy Spacek in Coal Miner’s Daughter does for cheesy western fringe what Cher does for assless pants. (You can't believe...
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1. One benefit to being severely congested from a head cold: my nasal rendition of Erykah Badu’s “Tyrone.”
2. Aim away from friends when opening champagne bottles. No joke.
3. Our National Forest Service is taking back the phrase “...
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1. You don’t realize how often you roll down your driver’s-side window until you can’t.
2. Having to open your driver’s-side door to collect your fast food breakfast is a whole new frontier of humiliation. Even for me.
3. Fake snow does not...
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1. If you shave your beard into muttonchops in order to match your Halloween costume, continuing to wear them can be a lot of fun.
2. Despite the terror A Nightmare on Elm Street caused me as a child, it is a totally ridiculous and not...
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1. A box of fifty plus gift bags is too heavy for me to lift. (But not for our vice president!)
2. DJ Riz Rollins is a profound man, who rocks a backpack and profoundly awesome blue suede skater shoes.
3. Musical theatre doesn’t get enough...
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1. Zombies are people too. At least, they seem so when imagined by fiction writer Jess Walter.
2. Nordstrom Rack is more hunting ground than store. And only the fittest survive.
3. Katherine Heigl can act. Unfortunately, she consistently...
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1. The Atomic dog: n. a strenuous dance move that makes the performer appear as if she is combining crab walking with Russian dance. See also: back injury.
2. Kentucky-made wine is a lovely idea. (Stick with the Bourbon!)
3. Carded at a...
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1. Visitors to convention-style events want two things from your info booth: free stuff and/or candy. If you don’t have one of these things, you might as well leave those pretty brochures by the door on your way out.
Inspiration for my...
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1. Beware blonde women bearing gifts.
2. Celebrate blonde women blocking off their neighborhood streets, filling their living rooms with dirt and tossing burnt waffles on their lawns – all in the name of really provocative art. (NEPO House...
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1. Punk group, funk group, jazz, crunk – whatever you call them – Vaughn Kreestoe knows how to make a crowd get on their feet. Send us more like that, please, Bellingham.
2. According to some scientists, exercise (without significant change...
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1. Even the hippest of hipsters can’t refuse an impromptu conga line. Thank you, "Penetration" at Unicorn.
2. Teach a child how to blow bubbles with their chewing gum – become a hero.
3. If you want to run a drug cartel, get a good nickname...
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1. “Fuck” is the new “thank you.” (Thank Pavement for the tip.) I suppose that means the reverse is also true.
2. Gargantuan platform heels seem to be back in vogue. Thank you, fashion industry. I was beginning to notice an alarming dearth...
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Thanks to the French 75 cocktail (gin, Champagne, lemon juice and sugar), I no longer universally hate gin.
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Apparently, some local cosmetology students are encouraged to use “floor names” to help clients remember them when going to...
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1. Never wear a bottle cap belt in the Congo River, unless you are prepared to meet the Goliath Tigerfish, a.k.a. the only fish that doesn’t fear the crocodile.
2. Never play Bocce with an Italian, unless you’re prepared to flex your “strong...
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If this doesn't inspire you to read the magazine story, "Team Quileute" this month, I don't know what will.
1. Cape Disappointment lives up to its name.
2. Chaos theory strikes again: no matter how hard you work to play all hip music at...
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1. Marinate that $20 steak in orange soda for one hour before you grill it. You won’t be disappointed.
2. Look up Orange Crush on Google images; you will happen upon pictures of things that are definitely not soda or an R.E.M. album. Thank...
