1. Beware blonde women bearing gifts.
2. Celebrate blonde women blocking off their neighborhood streets, filling their living rooms with dirt and tossing burnt waffles on their lawns – all in the name of really provocative art. (NEPO House is an incredible thing. Go to the next one if you can.)
3. Beware ethnically-ambiguous painters offering lessons.
5. Beware popular, U-Village-based clothing stores that confuse yarn balls with chandeliers. Higher price does not equal higher quality.
6. Celebrate hoards of little kids abandoning their delicious Tutta Bella pizza and gelato in order to dance and jump to swing blues.
7. Beware stacks of milk crates masquerading as stairs.
Image of Klara Glosova bearing megaphone by Damon Mori.